I'm Scottish originally from the town of Ardrossan in Ayrshire. Apparently my accent is quite broad even for a Scotsman. "I have no idea what you just said, but it sounded Scottish," is a common response. And of course I'm plagued at every turn by people attempting a Scottish accent. One hears Sean Connery and instantly one thinks one can do Scotchland. But I don't know of anyone who actually sounds like dear Sir Sean. And no-one can convince me otherwise that he doesn't revert to type and ditch the shmooth leathery tones once he realises he's down to his last strip of toilet paper and the job ain't yet half done. I'm reminded of Jack Lemmon turning to Tony Curtis in 'Some Like Hot', referring to Curtis' Cary Grant impression, to tell him that no-one talks like that. Anyway there's only one way to perfect the Scottish accent - by being in an unseemly rush to get to the last syllable. E.g., bi-ke becomes b-ike. That or be brought up in Scotland of course.

And on the subject of 'Some Like it Hot' it's been said that Curtis claimed on set that "Kissing Marilyn Monroe was like kissing Hitler." Now I know Tony has reportedly denied having said this in later years, but y'know that kind of thing sticks, and after all this time it's time to be gracious. Marilyn that most misunderstood, tragic, and beautiful icon of all time. Tony, I know you're an occasional reader of this blog. Perhaps once and for all it's time to put the record straight.